I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just gargled with NyQuil
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