eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
