Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I love you. Go after that dick
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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