Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
