Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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