Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
