Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize