I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
