epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize