no, he came in my armpit
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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