would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
