their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
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