Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
