as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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