out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
