I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Your cock deserves a montage
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
