I feel great
I just peed on a car
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
