There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
