i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize