Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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