so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
