I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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