Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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