I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.