You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.