You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.