You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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