I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We had to coat check the pizza.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
