Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
