there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
