i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
