Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm at about main and main street
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
