Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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