Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Your penis caused this!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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