yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize