omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
