if i died would you start the facebook group?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
