dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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