You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
