you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He felt like a one man threesome
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I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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