bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
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Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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