i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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