i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
