Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
