Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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