Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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