He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
