another moral hangover. fuck.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
