Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
