Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
