quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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