One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The air was thick with penises
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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