I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
