Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
