can u get pink eye on your cock?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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