Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
either way he was missing a nipple.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
