You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
