Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
